To my psychiatrist, in such a time as this
I need your care, it isn't fair,
And they don't care
All this confusion, is it an illusion?
Oh, please help me out, I have my doubts
About getting out

You say I fear failure but also success
That psychoanalysis brings happiness
And you ask me the questions of toilet training
Well I've always been tidy but sh*t like a king

To my psychiatrist, in such a time as this
I need your help, I can't help myself,
I'm sitting on a shelf
Some times I feel that I am an original
But when I'm sure, that I am sure
It's delusions of grandeur

You say I fear failure but also success
That psychoanalysis brings happiness
But when the beat of my heart comes in rhythm and rhyme
Could it be these delusions are legally mine?

Won't you teach me to feel, I want love that is real
And I'm looking to find, a home for my mind,
It's been such a long time
Do you know how I feel? I have this wound that won't
heal, is it real, think you could find
me a good deal?

You say I fear failure but also success
That psychoanalysis brings happiness
And of course your behavior is just what I want
With your red leather sofa and foreign accent